Chapter 5, The Distance of the Heart

You are the fool ... ...

Yan Yan? The sound of a balanced voice echoed in her memory once again. Qi Yan tightly gripped her phone, tears suddenly welled up in her eyes

Looking up at the window on the sixth floor, he saw her standing there gazing at him. He thought to himself, she must have cried!

After a full three years, she still cannot erase the memories of him; after a full three years, she still cannot forget his gentle smile. Three years of deliberate distance, three years of wandering in a foreign land, cannot compare to those four years of sweet moments. He has entered her heart too deeply, too deeply.

Home, a word that once felt so distant to him. However, when he handed the key to her, he naturally referred to this place as home, her home.

Do you think the world has become darker?

Where is this going? My dormitory is not in this direction

Ah ... ... it has become real! She stumbled over her words, her steps a bit unsteady, she really drank too much tonight

Wen Xingyuan has thought more than once that one day they would open the door at the same time, standing there with smiles; how warm that moment would be. He turns on the sound system, and a hoarse male voice flows through the room. He leans by the window, reminiscing about three years ago when he accompanied her to the ancient town.

He held her close to his side, bearing the full weight of her body, as they slowly walked away, accompanied by the faint light of the alleyway

Two years ago, when he left, he was worried about her living alone outside, so he insisted on moving her luggage out of the dormitory and directly into his apartment. Otherwise, with her stubborn nature that even ten oxen could not pull back, she would never have come over. He vacated his master bedroom for her, while his belongings were thrown into the guest room, and there was also a study.

As he gazed at her silhouette, a sense of bitterness enveloped Wen Xingyuan's heart

"Are you an idiot?" He retorted without backing down, snatching the cup away rudely. This woman, she always remembered the insults directed at her most clearly

Say

Where have I been foolish

What did she do wrong? Why did heaven take everything away, even refusing to leave him behind? How could he turn his back and leave so heartlessly when she suddenly had nothing?

"Idiot!" He scolded her with a furrowed brow, tightening his grip on her arm even more.

In the seven tumultuous years, he has changed, becoming more mature and composed, while she has also changed, learning to live behind a mask. Throughout these seven tumultuous years, he remains Han Nuo, his deep blue eyes as unchanged as the sea. And she? She is still Xi Yan, and despite her best efforts to conceal it, she realizes that she has always loved him, keeping him in the softest part of her heart

"Go to the mountain valley and sell you off"

He saw her in the parking lot as well, and although it was just a glimpse from the corner of his eye, he still recognized that familiar figure. He saw her staring blankly, standing rigidly not far away, yet he did not turn back, did not dare to look back

Once upon a time, he often appeared downstairs from her, sometimes to see her off, sometimes to wait for her, but what about now? For what purpose?

He was amused by her silly demeanor, put down his wine glass, and helped her up, "It seems you are really drunk, starting to babble habitually again." As he spoke, he led her towards the door

You are such a fool, acting so silly

She is no longer the optimistic and strong Qian Yan she once was; now, she is merely a small woman with a soft heart, almost devoid of everything, full of wounds.

Burying her face in her hands, she suddenly felt aggrieved and helpless

The sorrowful melody echoed repeatedly, yet she remained completely absorbed in her own thoughts, indifferent to it all. Crouching by the edge of the bed, she buried her face deep into the bedspread, remaining utterly still

She suddenly feels lost, is it all ultimately because of love? Is there still a chance to try and express it?

Seven years ago, for him, she was willing to give everything, dedicating the most beautiful moments of her life. However, that relationship ultimately proved to be fragile, and their destinies took a turn from that point onward

It has become complicated

"What do you want? You said you would never care about me again, just let me drink myself to death..." She snapped back to reality, gripping the wine glass tightly, squinting her eyes as she glared at him

He came to his senses, turned slightly, and glanced at her, "What did you say?"

In the days that followed, she remained in the ancient town, working at a newly established company. He also stayed here, often calling to inquire about her well-being, occasionally inviting her out for a meal. She always gently declined, using work as an excuse. He was not upset, merely smiling and saying, "Then next time!"

"Fool, I am too valuable, no one can afford me," she mumbled, attempting to lift her foot to kick him, her steps somewhat unsteady, nearly tripping.

Because at that time he understood: it is not about who is close to her, but who holds a place in her heart

Because he, too, has lost his courage

For him, this is enough; he cannot bear to demand too much from her, as he understands the pain in her heart. He is reluctant to ask anything of her, indeed, reluctant.

Wen Xingyuan, you said, how did the world suddenly change in an instant...

"Murder, are you?" The tip of her nose heavily bumped against his chest as she complained discontentedly, yet her arms wrapped around his waist as if they had a mind of their own, fearing that he might play another prank and let go.

He chuckled softly, and that fleeting, spider-silk-like gaze of affection was quickly concealed. "I thought you were drunk?"

He gently called her name, yet he did not know what to say next, what should be said, or what could be said, only holding the phone and looking up at her.

I can only remember that the flickering lights made it difficult to discern her expression, yet her gentle voice conveyed a sense of sadness.

"You fool, you big stupid grandson!" Noticing the subtle change in his expression, she rested her arms on the bar, and seeing that he remained silent, she provocatively called out to him, "Hey, are you dumbfounded?"

Forgiveness? Can she? Can they still?

In addition to work, she began to spend a considerable amount of time in silence. Over the course of the following year, she learned to drink coffee without sugar, learned to drink spirits, one glass after another, living in a daze, half-drunk and half-awake.

Night falls, and silence descends. The guests gradually dwindle

Hanno, why did you come, why are you still here? Did you not already make your choice? Haven't we already put an end to this? Why do you still have to appear? Why must I face you, face all of you?

Still in love with him? Yes, until they meet again, she discovers this terrifying truth: she loves him, she cannot forget!

This seemingly "harmonious" coexistence lasted for a year. Qi Yan began to develop a fondness for the ancient town. In her spare time from work, she finally became willing to go out for a walk, even if she still rejected his invitations and continued to speak to him coldly. However, he could see that her mood was changing; she was no longer trapped in her past troubles.

The phone stubbornly rang, and she looked up in confusion at the unfamiliar number displayed on the screen. Taking a deep breath, she ultimately pressed the call button

Zhang Ziliang did not ask, and tacitly drove the car to the entrance of the alley, while Wen Xingyuan smiled gratefully

... ...

Do you think I cannot?

He took out the key and opened the door by himself, wishing so much that she were there

He knows that she is not here. If she were here, he would definitely have dinner with her tonight, regardless of any excuses she might make about being unavailable. He would insist on bringing her along. He has spoiled her too much, and this habit is not good.

The seemingly distant memories are suddenly awakened, and she stubbornly clings to the dream deep within her heart, he, like a shadow, follows closely. What appear to be two intersecting lines that extend in the same direction after crossing are, in reality, mere self-deception; he resides in her heart, and despite the experiences of crossing and separation, he remains within her.

Thank you!" She expressed her gratitude with a blank expression and turned to head towards the dormitory

Let's have dinner together in the evening; I will make the arrangements to welcome you and help you unwind

I am downstairs! It seems I heard him let out a heavy sigh, ultimately struggling to speak.

Seeing that tall figure standing under the tree, her tears fell silently, drop by drop

Wen Xingyuan

He held her a little tighter, and he let out a barely audible sigh

The usually gentle face bore a hint of gloom, and after a long while, he finally squeezed out a sentence through clenched teeth, "If you dare to speak again in the future, I will bury you in the tree pit outside."

Even when drunk, I can still call you a big fool! She was satisfied to see his face turn pale, laughing heartily. This man holds a grudge.

Wen Xingyuan almost got off the plane at the same time as Qi Yan. He dialed her phone number but hung up instantly. He thought that at this moment, she might truly not wish for him to disturb her

This is a three-bedroom apartment of approximately 100 square meters, and Qi Yan resides in the room with the best light. Opening the window reveals quaint houses along the street, creating a very pleasant atmosphere

If you talk back again, you can walk back by yourself

Once upon a time, she also tried to wave away the gloom in her heart with the same gesture. Why, after three years have swiftly passed, can she still not be at ease

She gently kicked his calf, "Hey, say something?"

Calling her name softly, yet remaining silent, he fell into a prolonged silence

What has changed? The deep gaze fell upon her flushed face as he reached out to take the wine glass.

She held her phone lightly, nodded blankly, and then, without saying a word, turned and left

He simply packed his luggage, and apart from a few pieces of clothing, there was really not much else. Knowing that she was here, he took nothing with him when he left, thinking he would return soon, but it turned out to be much later than planned

This posture, this silhouette, appears so helpless, so frail, and yet so desperate and lonely

Xi Yan remained silent, standing up in a daze, hesitating as she moved towards the window

As her work gradually got on track, she began to help out at his bar during her free time, which led her to meet Zhang Ziliang and Du Ling. She observed Du Ling's busy figure moving through the bar and noticed the warmth in her faint smile. Wen Xingyuan smiled, and that smile was as bright as dazzling sunlight

Why are you not speaking? Have you become mute? Aren't you always so articulate when you talk? She tilted her head back, her dreamy gaze resting on his face

On the first day back, Qi Yan's mood plummeted to the lowest point. She canceled her date with Ji Ruoning and curled up in her small apartment. Han Nuo came and went; she did not know when he left, but she knew he would not stay the night again, because he was no longer... a person.

Although he could not see the expression on her face, nor the look in her eyes, he still gazed at her intently, as if he wanted to etch the already mottled figure before the window deep into his heart

For her, the world suddenly turned gray. Even if she intentionally tried to blur the faces in her memories, she still lived in a daze, as the terrifying reality constantly brushed against her wounds. No matter how close he was to her, he could never replace the person deep within her heart.

She suddenly desired an answer, an answer that he should have provided three years ago

Words like love, in the view of Wen Xingyuan, should be cherished in the heart, residing in the softest part of one's emotions, kept in the warmest and closest place to the heart

Looking at his feigned angry face, Qi Yan let out a chuckle and murmured, "Big silly grandson!"

Wen Xingyuan stood at the bottom of the apartment building, looking up at the light green curtains, feeling a warmth in his heart

"I haven't finished drinking yet, you miser!" Her words were sharp, yet her footsteps kept pace with his

She has returned, after leaving quietly for a full three years

Those days, when recalled many years later, Wen Xingyuan felt that they were a time spent both cautiously and laboriously, yet inexplicably joyful. As her "boss," he would concern himself with her life in every possible way, yet he could be so careless as to neglect everything else around him. Even after she had rejected him no less than a hundred times, he stubbornly insisted on driving her back to her dormitory after the bar closed. The two of them had hardly ever engaged in serious conversation; they would always stand shoulder to shoulder by the bar, holding their glasses, exchanging sharp and cutting remarks with each other.

I was just a step too late, he entered your heart before I did! But you do not know, I have actually been by your side all along

He did not respond, reaching out to grab the coat and draping it over her shoulders, embracing her as they headed towards his apartment

In the darkness, Qi Yan leaned against the corner of the bed, her gaze vacant and devoid of life

The river of time flows through their lives, long and distant, winding and twisting! ... Time leaves painful marks in each other's hearts, enduring and unforgettable ...

He sighed almost inaudibly, released his hand, and took his phone from her handbag, entered his number, and handed it back to her, saying, "Don't think too much, just call me if you need anything"

She does not know

Yet he could not control himself; he could not restrain the heart that still beat for her. Thus, he dialed Tang Yifan's number, and finally, he was about to call her mobile number for the first time after losing contact for a full three years

Once I dared not to remember, thinking it was fear of pain, until this moment when I suddenly understood that it was actually the fear that once I remember, I would easily forgive

Xu Yan?'' He caught her as they brushed past each other, ``Do you remember my phone number?'' he asked her, noticing her dazed expression as she looked up, her gaze somewhat vacant

Lijiang, Dayan Town

He gritted his teeth and shot her a glance, then reached out and forcefully rubbed her hair, remaining silent

She is his secret. Even many years later, when he can speak of the past with a sense of nonchalance, he still clearly remembers the subtle expressions on her face at that time, as well as his own restrained feelings

Xi Yan, you love him the most, while the person I love the most is you

"I will contact you by phone tomorrow, make sure to rest well." Seeing his silence, Zhang Ziliang understood and waved goodbye to him as he got into the car.

I shot her an annoyed glance, intentionally loosened my grip, and then reached out to catch her just as she was about to fall.

From the very first moment, he understood her intentions clearly; however, he still clung to the obsession in his heart

The once resolute determination, disregarding everything, has vanished without a trace

Soft yet melancholic music flowed through the bar, seemingly poised to evoke her hidden thoughts in an instant. She quietly leaned on the bar, her gaze habitually drifting. Meanwhile, he stood silently beside her, his long fingers gripping the glass as he took a gentle sip.

For her, Wen Xingyuan's love is very self-centered

At that time, she longed to question him, to ask him why he betrayed her, but she held her head high with pride, stubbornly brushing past him as if they were strangers. Now, when she no longer has the courage to seek answers, he suddenly stands before her without any warning, and this time, she can no longer feel proud in any way.

Yanyan is not here again, what are you doing cooped up at home by yourself

After a long time, a blind sound came from the other end of the phone, the curtains were slowly drawn, blocking his line of sight. He closed his eyes, leaning weakly against the tree trunk behind him, until deep into the night

Thank you, let's do it tomorrow night, bring your girlfriend along

Hanno, it is actually Hanno!

She glanced at him and, with a slight slur in her speech, said, "Anything will do, for instance, tell everyone here that Earth is too dangerous, and they should quickly return to Mars!"